i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
