If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
as a side note pls kill me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
