She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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