Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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