a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
