I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
