my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize