sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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