that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
