Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
