Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
