I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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