As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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