I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
