just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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