hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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