Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
