I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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