I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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