There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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