no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize