and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He shit in the fireplace
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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