im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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