I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
