ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
