Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
