Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
