did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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