Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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