It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize