While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
