i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we're making bets on your personal life
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
