you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
