4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize