guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
