It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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