i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
