I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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