I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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