My friends, they love my intelligence
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
