I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How external is "for external use only"?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
