I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Shame is for Republicans.
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