Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
