She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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