im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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