Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
