I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
