I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize