please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well you can't waste a boner
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
