Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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