I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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