i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize