i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
