? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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