I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
