If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
