your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize